A Crack in the Wall
by Seliphra
Summary: Shizuo suddenly becomes aware that he isn't real. Randomness ensues. Crack!fic.


**Hello, I just wanted to break the fourth wall...here we go...**

**Warnings: References to yaoi, language, breaking of the fourth wall, randomness, OOCness...basically this fic is not just a crack!fic, it is on actual crack. Have fun. **

**Disclaimer: No. We all know that.**

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><p>"Hey Tom-San…you ever get the feeling like we're not real or something?"<br>"What do you mean?"  
>"I mean…I feel like there is someone sitting…no, she's lying in a bed and typing out everything we say and do while listening to music…"<br>"Shizuo…I think you should take the rest of the day off…"  
>"Y-yeah, I must have caught something," The blonde agreed, though he knew that this was right somehow. Mainly because he now knew the author existed and that he was, in fact, in a fan fiction.<p>

"Hey! I heard that!" Yes, we know you did Shizuo, but you're the only one who knows, now shh! Stop trying to convince Tom you aren't crazy! Shizuo cursed under his breath and looked around nervously.  
>"I seriously need help Tom…I think reality has become….not real just now."<p>

"Right…" Tom frowned a little, "go see a doctor, want me to walk you?"  
>"No…I have the oddest feeling nothing will happen to me," He grumbled before marching straight to Shinra. He is right of course, Shizu-chan can't have anything bad happen on the way to Shinra's!<p>

"Is that you flea?" No it wasn't but that was beside the point. As I was saying, he marched…? There you go. Shizuo made it to Shinra's place uneventfully enough and it was his Dullahan girlfriend who opened the door.

[Shizuo! Come on in, did you need something?]  
>"Yeah, is Shinra there? I keep hearing this weird voice…like I'm actually not real…hell, like I'm an anime character except that I'm not even in the anime, like I'm in a fan fiction or something…" Celty was very shocked to hear this, but she had him come in and sit down while she tried to get a hold of Shinra. It was not difficult though and he came back soon enough to take the blonde man's temperature -<p>

"Oh no you don't, I see what's in your head author!" Damn. Fine then, Shinra takes your temperature orally, happy?  
>"Yes."<br>"Shizuo…who are you talking to?"  
>"The author! She's sitting there writing everything!" Shinra was very concerned now but Shizuo, seeing what was in the authors head got up before anything more damage could be done.<p>

"I'm going to run into Otaku's next, aren't I?" He asks, grumbling under his breath. Yes, you will Shizuo. See? There's Erika and Walker now!  
>"Shizuo-san? You're mumbling under your breath…." Walker tilted his head to the side curiously and Erika nodded.<br>"I'm insane. I have snapped and gone insane," Shizuo grumbled, thoroughly convinced that this was the case.

"What do you mean Shizu-chan?" Erika asked and Shizuo let the name slide this one time.  
>"I feel like we're all anime characters,"<br>"We wish!" Walker said excitedly.  
>"No…I mean worse though, like we're in a fan fiction OF an anime and I can hear everything in the authors head! I hear everything! I know what she's going to do I can hear her, I even know she's laying in bed typing this on a laptop at 4:32 am!"<p>

"Whoa…" Walkers eyes opened briefly sending a shiver of fear down the spines of all those who saw it.  
>"Sounds like the fourth wall broke…"<br>"Wait…the fourth wall?" Shizuo didn't understand what she meant, but really he wasn't that-

"I CAN HEAR YOU DAMN IT! I AM NOT UNINTELLIGENT!" He roared at the sky. Hmm, seems the only one with a mind of their own is Shizuo in this ne~?  
>"IZAYA DID THIS!"<br>"I thought you said it was a she?"  
>"I could be wrong. Just tell me what the fourth wall is.<br>"It's imaginary. It keeps people in anime's from knowing they're in one. It keeps the characters in a story from knowing they are in a story. Sounds like you might have had your fourth wall broken Shizuo-san," Walker nodded as he said this and Erika squealed loudly making them both turn to look at her.

"Shizu-chan this is wonderful! Walker if his fourth wall is broken that means we are real anime characters!" She shrieked and he blinked and then slowly a wide smile formed.  
>"You're right! Hey, Hey Shizuo! Who does the author ship?"<br>"Hmm…She thinks you two are cute together and she likes Celty and Shinra….huh, she ships two high schoolers together…umm…Masa…"  
>"OMIGAWD SHE SHIPS MASAOMI KIDA WITH SOMEONE?" Erika fan squee'd happily.<p>

"Uhh…yeah, that…I dunno, his name's funny," Shizuo shook his head.  
>"OMIGAWD THE GID WITH THE ANIME NAME!" Erika fansqee'd more.<br>"Sure…WHAT THE FUCK AUTHOR! I WOULD NOT SLEEP WITH THE FLEA!" You do in my mind Shizuo, now shush because-  
>"She's a Shizaya fan too?" Walkers head tilted to the side and Erika promptly feinted from blood loss. Shizuo frowned and then glared at the sky, or rather the author in an attempt to get his pure feelings across because he is really mad we Ship Shizaya…and Izuo. In fact he hates that we're shipping anything anywhere because he doesn't really understand what it means.<p>

"Shut the fuck up," He mumbled and kept going.  
>"Wait! If we're anime characters then-" Togusa slapped a hand over Walkers mouth to shut him up wisely as Shizuo was about to send him on a trip to Okinawa. Airfare not required…not there anyways.<br>"You're rambling author," Oh yes, thank you Shizuo. As I was saying though he walks along not knowing who he'll meet next because-

"I can see inside your head, I know it's Izaya!" Oh. Damn.  
>"Shizu-chan knows I'm here?" Izaya asked a little irritated he was found out before he could surprise attack the bodyguard and Shizuo spun and growled.<p>

"I am SO not in the mood flea! FUCK OFF!"  
>"Oh? You gonna maaaake me~?"<br>"If you force my hand yes, but apparently my fourth wall broke so…just…go away I already know I can't kill you,"  
>"Eh? Your fourth wall broke? How do you know you can't kill me?"<br>"Because the author already decided this fan fiction is on crack and that killing you would ruin it. Besides, she wants to see us doing something that isn't fighting" He grumbled angrily making Izaya laugh in amusement.

"Shizu-chan, you've lost it! Hahaha! Everyone come quick! Shizu-chan has finally gone insane! I'm free, yes, I'm free!"  
>"I'm not insane, the fourth wall broke. We're in a fan fiction based on an anime called Durarara and you're a member of the dollars…you're name in online chats is Kanra, you get stabbed in volume five by Jinnai and I will never crush you. You also started the war between the yellow scarves and the dollars—Hey I got shot because of you!"<p>

"Eh? You sure do have a good source for information…"  
>"Yeah, the author. I know everything she knows. I also know she wants us to have hot kinky…I'm not even gonna say it…"<br>"Oh god, she's an Erika!"  
>"Yes," You know Shizuo, if you hit him you might –Shizuo lands a punch on Izaya's head and sends him careening into a wall.<p>

"What the-? OH GOD MY FOURTH WALL BROKE!"  
>"You two huh? See how fucked up this is?"<br>"Yes. Why is Simon about to-"  
>"Sushi good! Sushi make you friends! Eat Sushi!"<br>"Not now Simon," Izaya and Shizuo said at the same time.

"Oh? You two friends now?"  
>"No, but we're the only two in this story who know what's going on," Izaya grumbled one hand waving the large Russian away. Simon went about his business and tried selling sushi to people who were afraid of him. Poor Simon.<p>

"What do we do? I want this to stop, I want my fourth wall back damn it!"  
>"Me too. But either we fix it or ignore it…I think I like this actually, any information she gets I get. Therefore the walls should remain broken!"<br>"You really want to see all her fantasies of us doing it?"  
>"Point taken, let's fix it. Temporary truce until it's done and then I return to hating you and you try and throw vending machines at me in peace.<p>

"Yeah, deal. What happens if we remember this crap though?"  
>"We can deal with the mental scarring later, now let's. Move."<br>"Fine, but how do we repair the wall?"  
>"Hell if I know, hmm the author doesn't either."<br>"Damn it! Hey, Seliphra! Figure out how to fix the wall damn it!" Why should I do all the work though? You're the ones being written and dealing with the haphazard fall out.  
>"Shut up, you have to end this somehow!" Namie appears!<p>

"Oi, Orihara. I had this strange paper appear and heard a voice that said to give it to you…also, you didn't pay me now give me my god damn money."  
>"Huh? Fine," Izaya wrote a lightning fast check before taking the paper and then blinked, his eyes unfocused.<p>

"Oi…flea?" Shizuo took the paper next and voila! The fourth wall was repaired and Shizuo regained his sanity. Izaya escaped unharmed though Erika and Walker remembered everything Shizuo said…so did Tom, Shinra and Celty for that matter. Go figure right?


End file.
